I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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