maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
