never play flip cup with pint glasses
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
