Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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