no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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