I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
