the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize