U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
