you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
