And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
