yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
