you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Im part way to drunk.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just forgot I was standing up.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize