I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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