wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
