Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
