Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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