he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
