dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
