My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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