Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize