I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
