i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
did i just pee glitter
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
