I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I would ride that face into the sunset
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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