In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
