we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
try to milk me bitch
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