i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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