More tranny stories later!
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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