I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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