I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
