I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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