so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Randomize