I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
