i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
