Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
