The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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