I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
