Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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