I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im having a threesome with these popsicles
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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