I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
