Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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