Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
