If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
