mondays should just be called national damage control day
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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