I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
