Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
