I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
