umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Randomize
