i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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