mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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