I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Randomize
