What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
