Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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