Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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