So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
