Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
