between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
