called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
