you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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