then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
