idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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