I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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